What Would Thembi Do

I’m all behind on posting and life in general, so it’s great that last night’s episode of The Daily Show featured Lewis Black doing a very WTF Wednesday-esque rant about post-election Obama memorabilia. This doesn’t even crack the surface of the inner-city Obama merchandise sub-economy; things like that “Rasta The Vote,” button above have been commonplace in the hood right up to election day, and turned the phrase “black market,” into an unbearably effective double entendre. Now that the election is over, there is even an Obama condom out there, people. Just watch.

Original post by Thembi

Jamaican brothers are hittin’ the mainland and getting law degrees but then taking things one step too far by turning an ad for legal services into a No Limit album cover or at the very least a tacky party flyer. Nothing screams “victim of the diaspora” like the combination of his over-sized Jamaican flag belt buckle, Mercedes emblem, and the name “P’Ta Mon” itself. In fact, if you look closely, he couldn’t help but also rock a Jamaican flag necklace. The fact that the services listed on this ad must be his most popular (major drug charges leads the pack) puts the icing on the disgrace cake. One step forward, one step back.

h/t Neatorama

Original post by Thembi

Snake man inserts live snake up nose and out of mouth

This is ‘Snake Manu’, an Indian man who makes a living from this eye-watering trick of inserting live grass snakes into his nostrils and pulling them out of his mouth.

Rest of article here.

Dear Mr. Snake Man,

While I applaud the unique nature of your talents and can’t begrudge your ability to feed a family a four by putting strange things up your nose, please be sure to make clear to your audience that you are not a black man. Things are on the upswing for us right now and we’d prefer not to be associated with snakes up noses or your braids at this time. Thank you very much for your cooperation in this matter,

Thembi

Original post by Thembi

In the spirit of self-restraint, I’m not even going to say anything about this.

Original post by Thembi

It’s a good thing that I’m secure in my old-headedness or I may have been forced to lie about my age. For the record, I will turn thirty in January, which means I was born in 1979. That’s right, Jimmy Carter was president when I was born, I am technically not an ’80’s baby, and the United States has been at war with an Arab speaking country pretty much my entire life. You really gotta love Old School Music to even know any songs from the year you were born, so I think this week’s theme is pretty hot.

“Aint No Stoppin’ Us Now,” McFadden & Whitehead. Philly stand-up! If you didn’t get enough of this song during the Phillie’s winning World Series run or after the Obama victory, watch this video one more time and bask in the Philly Soul of it all. Did you know that this duo also wrote classics such as “I’ll Always Love My Momma,” and “Wake Up Everybody”? Sadly, Gene McFadden died in 2007 and John Whitehead’s 2004 murder remains unsolved.

“Escape (The Piña Colada Song),” Rupert Holmes. I confess, this scenario really happened to me! I responded to a personal ad on Craigs List and when things stopped being anonymous I found out that it had been placed by this guy I was already kicking it with a little. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about it until years later, when we had a good but pathetic laugh. Hate all you want, but I like to rock The Pina Colada song at least once a year. This video is just soooo cheesily seventies - what in the name of Mr. Rogers is he wearing?

Bonus: “Thembi,” Pharoah Sanders. Ok, the song and album “Thembi” were relased in 1971, but I’m pretty sure the song was on the turntables at my parent’s house at some point for them to have named me after it. I’ve grown to love this song after hearing it for the first time at the late age of 21. Enjoy!

Check Out Other Old School Friday Participants!
1. MrsGrapevine 2. Marvalus 3. Regina 4. Marcus Langford 5. Quick 6. Chocl8t 7. Cassandra 8. Kreative Talk 9. Lisa C 10. Invisible Woman 11. Vivrant Thing 12. Shawn Williams 13. Electronic Village 14. Hagar’s Daughter 15. Danielle Vyas 16. DP 17. Dee 18. FreshandFab 19. LaShonda 20. AJ 21. Sharon 22. Believer1964 23. Shae-Shae 24. Danielle 25. sjp 26. msladydeborah 27. Thembi

Original post by Thembi

One of the most coveted natural talents is the gift of a dictinctive voice, and Loretta Devine’s high-pitched, breathy voice has just that kind of distinction I wish I was born with. She got her start in Broadway musicals, most notably originating the role of Lorell in Dreamgirls alongside Sheryl Lee Ralph and Jennifer Holiday. Her first major television role was as dorm directer Stevie Hallen on A Different World, a role that went to Mary Alice after Lisa Bonet left the show in 1988. It’s hard to believe that aside from starring in two Colored But Canceled sitcoms - Heart & Soul and Sugar & Spice - Loretta Devine didn’t play a major character on-screen until 1995’s Waiting To Exhale. Was I the only person who read this book and imagined Loretta Devine playing Gloria before she was even cast? She parlayed this mainstream success into roles on Boston Public and Greys Anatomy, while continuing to pursue more earthy roles in Down In The Delta (I loved her in this!) and Introducing Dorothy Dandridge. Loretta Devine has consistently played the same type of black woman - a little bigger, a little sassier, a little bit vulnerable, and always ready to cut her eyes at something. I don’t like to call it typecasting, I’d rather say that she has a niche. Above all else, from The PJs to Beverly Hills Chihuahua, you must need to clean your ears out if you don’t recognize that unmistakable voice! She is a Fresh Black Girl worth admiring!

h/t Afrobella for that Ebony cover photo!

Original post by Thembi

I’ve been intentionally keeping mum about recent events to avoid committing myself to any recorded morning-after-”I-Love-You”’s with America instead of continuing to watch my back. I’ve been a big patriot for the past few years now, but I can’t be online acting all Happy Negro and playing myself. After the historical events of last week, little has changed as far as my high regard for this wonderful American experiment. None of us will ever forget where we were when we heard that Barack Obama won the election; aside from its historical significance and the clear referendum from the American people that it was time for change, I really did not know what we were going to do if McCain had won. I don’t mean riots, I mean more like Children of Men-esque deep desperation and despair cutting to the core and spreading worldwide. Instead, I danced my way through November 4th, hugging and high-fiving everyone from strangers to enemies and even participating in an impromptu Electric Slide down Broad St for a few minutes. You know how colored folk do. It all brought to mind a story that’s been passed down in my family for generations: When one of my great-great-great cousins heard that the slaves were free, he shouted and jumped for joy, ran out of the house in jubilation, and was never seen again. That is off the hook happiness. Of course, like anything else, mine is finally starting to wane.

I’m always cautiously optimistic about life so I can’t help but be bothered by a few things. One potential irritant is the idea that black folks will suddenly start acting right because we have a black president. Just today I was at Ross Dress For Less and some African lady was all heated because she was being accused of having cut the line. The black cashier said to anyone listening “We got a black president and this mess is still goin’ on?!” Score one for black oblivion. Meanwhile, the Black History Month e-mail list at work struck again, when I got an online coupon for Popeye’s chicken in my Inbox. I’m also worried about elaborate Kwanzaa celebrations at the White House, white people saying they’re not racist because they voted for Obama, and the fluctuating fuzziness of Malia and Sasha’s hair becoming a topic of conversation in the mainstream media. It also occurred to me that we’ve gotten really comfy-cozy with the one drop rule, because I haven’t heard a single person praise the historical significance of the U.S.A. having elected its first biracial president, only the the first black president. Even the racists call him “colored” or “nigra” but never mulatto. Why is that?

And why exactly is it that black people keep congratulating each other? Many of us had a personal stake in this election as volunteers or donors, so yes, in that sense congratulations are in order. But really, when black folks congratulate other black folks about the fact that we now have a black president, isn’t that just saying “Congratulations that white people aren’t as racist as they used to be!”? In fact, shouldn’t white people be the ones patting themselves on the back about how far they’ve come over the past four-hundred years? Because as much as being qualified is a huge part of becoming president, that office has been held by some pretty dim bulbs and I can think of any number of black leaders who would have been qualified to hold that office except for the fact that they’re just too black.

My patience for politics is rather short; I first voted in the year 2000’s sham of an election and haven’t trusted in the process or our government since. For me, more than anything, this election has restored my faith in the system and that alone is plenty. But how long is it going to be before we turn against Barack Obama? Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that he will do a great job, but the man is not a magician. Between the Obama remix of whatever song, Obama sneakers, and this horrifically ridiculous piece of Obama toast that is for sale on E-Bay, we are in for a real letdown if he gets caught messing with a white woman or Malia’s MySpace page goes buck wild in a few years. I’m really happy and really inspired, but now that it’s wearing off a bit, I’m just watching my back.

Original post by Thembi

No, I didn’t make up that clever play on words. Knitta Please is a “graknitti,” crew and they basically posse out and tag public urban spaces with knitting. All cozies, all the time, and they are not to be reckoned with. I personally prefer yarn to spray paint but I can’t imagine Ramon from Beat Street going out with knitting needles in his hands. I guess another pillar of hip-hop culture has toppled. Check out the sideshow below for more examples of urban guerrilla crafts.

Original post by Thembi

I intended to stay silent today because there’s not much to talk about except for the frustrated anticipation that goes with all of our hopes for a late night victory celebration and four years of capable government. I’m a natural skeptic and have never been all that much into politics, but I do believe that an Obama presidency will lead to at least some change. If Barack Obama wins this election, the United States will enjoy a significantly better image abroad. A Michelle Obama first-lady-ship will re-invigorate fashion and beauty ideals. A Malia and Sasha first kid-ship will boost the morale of little black girls. Maybe we’ll be a little less mired in the past, a little prouder to draw distinctions among different shades of the black experience, and across the board, we’ll all feel way more empowered. I really do believe it, and I can’t wait.

I’ve tried not to be a sap about it all, but part of me wants to cry, just so I can tell my little nieces and nephews about what this day felt like without having to embellish reality with falsified emotion. Just when I wasn’t sure the waterworks would happen, a co-worker forwarded me this video, which made me love black folks even more, made me think of my grandmother, and made me proud to be an American all at once. Take a look and please, no matter how patient you have to be waiting in lines or how much you think your vote doesn’t count in your state, just go and vote. Even if it’s just to have something to say in twenty years or get a free Ben & Jerry’s scoop of ice cream.

Original post by Thembi

Yeah, that’s my left hand. The right hand says Biden but I needed it to hold my cameraphone. Pro-Nails for Obama!

If you missed it the first time around, I’m re-posting my presidential endorsement below. Do us all a favor and vote tomorrow - do not be a sucka!

The WWTD Presidential Endorsement

If Bossip gets to make an endorsement, then so do I.

And guess who I pick?

Mmmhmm. And I’ll give you five reasons why.

1. He’s black. Well, blackish. Blacker. Blackesque? However you slice it, he sure ain’t white. I don’t advocate voting blindly for any old black person (fascist Alan Keyes and “Crazy Cynthia” McKinney are still technically in the race and sure can’t have my vote), and having a Kenyan father doesn’t exactly make him “folk” in my book. But Obama shares my views on almost every issue, including my number one issue in LIFE, which is “black.” Not “black power,” or “black beauty,” or “black love.” Just plain old “black.” He’s black and calls himself black and is genuinely happy about being black. I think he and I see eye to eye on that, which alone gives him my vote.

2. He’s cute. Maybe it’s just me, but I believe that it’s the little things that count. I’m happier on warmer days, write better with my favorite pen, and am more inclined to watch a movie in crisp HD than on a rabbit-eared black and white. Barack isn’t quite my type but he’s growing on me, and aesthetically niether Clinton nor McCain can match his charisma and sheer cuteness. You don’t have to be attractive to be a good leader, but I’m so tired of ugly that cute gets my vote in ‘08 regardless.

3. He’s married to Michelle.

Now, Michelle is “folk.” Not only is she folk, but she’s a real Fresh Black Girl who is smart and capable enough to revitalize the role of First Lady. Can you imagine if Rock Bammy were married to some stiff white woman like every past president we’ve had? That would be a whole different story. In fact, if Obama were a white guy married to Michelle that ALONE may get him my vote. And now that Rudy Huxtable is well into adulthood, I can’t wait to watch their cute little girls grow up.

4. Hillary is notsogreat. At the time, the Clinton administration seemed like a blessing from above to black folks. Now, I look at it the same way I look at ex-boyfriends, The Atkins Diet, and the Burberry pattern - better than anything else around at the time, but notsogreat in the end. The fact that Hillary is married to Bill means nothing to me - not only do I get the feeling that he doesn’t really like her that much, sadly I don’t believe that a female is the right person to get us safely and strategically positioned in the Middle East. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist and all, but the reality is, this Bush-Clinton-Clinton-Bush-Bush pattern is a type of stagnantion that I’m tired of, and if Hillary enters office she’ll have to spend her first two years paying back Bill’s old debts. Not only that, she simply grates my nerves.

5. He’s cool.

“Please, please, there’s enough room on my jock for all of you.”

Bill Clinton was cool. Hillary is not. Clinton supporters of note include BET founder and president Bob Johnson (this guy seriously needs the Drop Squad), O.J. Simpson, and Iyanla Vanzant. None of them are cool. And I won’t even bother discussing the Republican option because despite what you may have heard that is NOT the party of Lincoln. I’ve been anti-Obamamania all of this time, but now I seriously sweat him. He cracks jokes, drinks beer, rides bikes, loves Godfather I and II, and smiles REAL smiles and not phony Hillary ones. I wanna kick it with Barack and not in that “Wow, I met the president way!”

6. HE’S BLACK. Yeah, I know I said that I have five reasons and this was one of them already, but he really is black. And he is running for president! Part of me still doesn’t believe I’ll ever live to see anyone but an old white man as our president, but I’m certainly going to try to show the world that’s its possible with my one little vote. Of course some people are specifically NOT voting for the black candidate:

“I’m not sure America’s ready to have a black president. I think they might kill him.” - 50 Cent

Well that’s a good reason not to do things, Mister “I got shot nine times.” To fight against such niggerish beliefs, all else equal, how can I NOT use my vote to push this country past the fear that such a thing could ever happen? Past the very IDEA that such a thing should be expected? I’m going to use the same system I use for American Idol, Top Model, and even for Celebrity Fit Club, and just stand behind the perfectly capable black person for group bragging rights - that group being everyone from my ancestors who fought for the right to vote, right down to the felons who have lost that right. Long live the colored race to that.

No, seriously. That is what Thembi is doing.

Original post by Thembi